Shut up and put your money where your mouth is...

...Life is more interesting when you do that. Not just having a goal, but getting up and doing it. I've been thinking about this recently, and, if it's something slightly more inspiring than getting up and showering before noon, how much of a line there is between ambition and fear. Or at least fear of failure.

For example, I have to write a book. I would like to have it written in six months, if not within the year, and to have achieved that would be stupendous. I am scared of two things: The first is that it will be difficult to write in general. It will involve some painful things and haul up memories that are perhaps better forgotten, yet I think that they're too precious to the storyline to keep them out. The second thing is much more universally felt - what if no one likes it? Aside from a flimsy paper escapade which I attempted as a seven year old (a sequel to Pocahontas in which she and John Smith realise they have no food in their marital teepee, and so must venture along the mountains to a local Asda. Riveting stuff if I do say so myself), I have not written a book before. Having spent three years training, £10 000 in tuition fees and told a multitude of people that I am an "aspiring journalist/writer", I can't think of anything worse than a big fat rejection. I don't really understand what it takes to get over being too afraid to fail, and be pushed far enough to need to achieve whatever it is you want.

What is perhaps most worrying is that, speaking on behalf of myself (and many of the people reading this I imagine), the world is supposedly my oyster. Anything I could ever want - amazing friends and family, a beautiful place to live and money in the bank (not hugely helped by Student Loans, but I digress...) - makes me rich in privileges and more importantly leaves no reason not to go ahead and become something great.

I was holding this conversation with somebody recently, and she suggested that people from privileged backgrounds who are set up to be successful with a good education and supportive parents, can endure immense pressure to live up to what they've been given. I just can't get my head around it. I'm not directing this at myself or anyone in particular. But this causes genuine distress in people's lives. It's common in new graduates, and 1 out of 4 students suffer from depression under the pressure of performing to the expected standard. Amazing that having everything can backfire on someone like that - and there's not even a good reason for it. It's just a state of mind that develops into something that becomes an emotional disturbance.

And now, when I'm faced with an aimless path ahead and everything left to achieve, it begs the question: What do you do if you can't escape a fear like that?

...Shut up and put your money where your mouth is. And hope the bumps along the way don't shake you up too much.